Наши Ордена! - Страница 2 - Форум Warhammer Архив форума Trash

Добавлено (2008-03-15, 5:28:00)
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Перевел еще часть. Если конкретно, то вот этот:

Great Search.
The Chapter continued to look for Seorl. More and more often Alexus, Chapter Magister, saw in his visions Seorl, who showed new and new ways for the search but never pinpointed anything specific. And each time Sons of Seorl found something new and continued to collect grain by grain the information about their favorite, remaining at the same time heroes in the eyes of Imperium servants.
After some time Alexus started been tired of such wearsome process of search. He pressed his analysts appealing to them and even threatening them. Having understood that there was little sense here Alexus astonished everybody quietly throwing the behests of the person who elevated him to the rank of saints and turned for help to warp. Successful experiment aloud him to look in the variants developments of future and he selected several emotional factors out this. That helped to Sons of Seorl a great deal but couldn’t be to the liking to the Inquisition. The Chapter was sent to the ten years crusade for the abuse of Primarch’s behests. Alexus understood that that correspond to the Chapter’s ways 100% and accepted the appeal with honor again, and is it seemed to the inquisitors, passing the challenge of faith.

Treachery.

Vody, теги закрывать надо, пиcать [b] жирный текст [/b]

Ну надо же было добавить определенную нотку оригинальности. Почему неудобно? Просто мы мастера в использовании цепных топоров, и нам с ними гораздо удобнее

Позже:

Дополнительно: сменил название, но оставил старое как неофициальное

Герб я бы переделал, слишком вяло выглядит, а так всё норм, продолжай в том же духе.

From the ancient times of the Great Horus Heresy the Raven Guard Legion was famous all over the galaxy by it’s unsurpassed art of rational and surgical exact partisan fight. Many attacks of the Warmaster ware defeated by the warriors of this Legion but also many battle brothers fell at the battlefields of all inclusive warfare. Later on, after the Heresy, according to Index Astartes adapted by Primarch Corax, the Legion was divided into Chapters. Raven Guard, whose quantity diminished up to 1000 warriors, the Black Guard, Raptors and Revilers were born out of. These Chapters have become the first Orders of great Legion. Later on, the Raven Guard gave birth some other Chapters and the Sons of Seorl took a respectable place among their.

The Horus Heresy.
As many Primarches, Corax kept side by side some trusted persons who helped him with advise and support in the minutes of active thinking and serious decisions. For the Raven Guard’s Primarch of such persons was the 9th Company’s Captain – Seorl. The noble warrior followed his commander anywhere and Corax listened him as he listened nobody. A farsighted politician with active diplomacy abilities, Seorl remained a public voice of usually silent and modest Primarch. Despite of his mental abilities Seorl didn’t limit himself with talks and discussions. He was wonderful tactic and furious warrior who was bringing his soldiers to victory in Emperor’s glory numerous times. The greatest successes of Raven Guard and their epoch making victories during Siege of Terra are connected with his great name as well as the name of the 9th Company who was recognized that time as sacred. The hare of his father, the Primarch, talents, Seorl embodied in tactics and fights an ideal warrior of Raven Guard. The lightening speed and nonhuman precise attacks under his guidance cut arteries of the most formidable and terrible enemies of the Imperium. And when the blessings and praises to the Captain were heart around, the latter only denied diplomatically his role of this events pointing our only to the Corax’s genius. Primarch has seen in Seorl his own reflection and treated him as his own son, and the Captain obediently bowed his head without any malicious intension remaining true with his commander and Emperor.
In the time of Horus Heresy the Legion has suffered horrible losses and hasn’t be able to reinforce it’s reserves at necessary speed, that’s why apothecaries turned the ancient methods of making of already adult space marines. The experiments failed and when, after Horus’s death, Corax understood his sin he went up to the top of his fortress to prey for his tarnished soul with the Emperor. He appeared in a year looking haggard and pale, and dropped only one phrase: “Never more...”. After that he sent his ship directly to the Eye of Terror, - after that nobody saw him.

Son’s Cry.
Seorl was in despair knowing of possible death of Primarch. He was in horror and spent several days in the utmost sorrow but his loyalty to Corax and Emperor conquered the pain if the lose. Seorl told of his ideas and arguments to the Chapter’s Master, sent his Company and went to the Primarch search. Further life of the Chapter was boiling full of events, but the 9th Company hadn’t relationship to that. Only from time to time Seorl’s battle barge “Son’s Cry” came up to the Imperial fleet and bases for refueling and after receiving what needed, the Company disappeared into nonexistence without a word.
After a few years the Chapter’s Consul remembered of their mission and found Seorl and his warriors. There was the time of the Third Chaos Crusade and many Imperial fleets were fighting close to Eye of Terror. By chance or for the reason that exactly here the Company were disappearing all the time, Seorl immediately responded to the call of help. Not for a second Seorl didn’t forget Corax’s oath and his own oath to serve Imperium.
The Master of Raven Guard understood that the 9th Company for a long time already uncontrolled and fearing the problems; he rendered honor to Seorl and his warriors giving a separate Chapter and Silentus world which wasn’t far from Eye of Terror. That aloud Seorl to continue the search without any obstacle.
Seorl met the Master and thank him for the honor render. He understood perfectly well the reasons of Company separations but never the less hoped to use that in for his own purpose. He shared with the Raven Guard’ master the information of what he had been able to discover but now only the historians of the Chapter was the source of this information but they embellished usually many events.
To the time of the Third Black Crusade the Company forces numbered only 500 warriors who had remained sense the time of the Legion. The warriors of reinforce new Chapter adopted the Seorl’s philosophy and aims quickly, and joyful became part of the Chapter.
The Chapter was going to arrive to their world immediately after finishing the campaign and celebrate well their successes and victory. Seorl understood that he was close to find out the truth of what had happened with his commander. The commanders of Raven Guard also understood that, they respected the researchers and quests of their battle brother. But prudent Seorl was not going to hurry. He understood that ruling of the world is a good responsibility, so he was going first to reinforce his new home world according to the commandments of Primarch Robout Guilliman; he shared his ideas with Alexus – the commander of his First Company, who had become to him the same person as in his own time had been Seorl himself for Corax. Seorl’s plans were monumental and, most important – they could be achieved. The Chapter could go up to the level of the First Foundation Legions and could gain the respect.
But his plans were doomed of fail.
During one of the bloodiest battles which led to the end of the war, he together with two Companies, escorting him, met one of the chosen warriors the traitors from the Legion Word Bearers. All guardsmen supporting the Chapter had been annihilated and the Space Marines stayed alone. According to the legend which is kept up to now in the materials of Inquisition and Raven Guard, for three days and three nights Seorl warriors had been repelling the limitless hordes of revolting creatures and traitors till the fury of them had come to the surface in the form of the terrible warp-storm. All fleets which had been within in system were destroyed and the planets were annihilated by furious waves of the Immaterium energy in the same way as Caliban had fallen previously.
Alexus sent all his forces into the system after the storm count down. That planet which was the place of the slaughter turned in a bunch of small asteroids. In the epicenter there was a block several tens kilometers diameters which was flying in cosmos. The Seorl and his warriors battle against Chaos took place exactly there. Alexus lending on the surface and found the bodies of all Space Marines of the Chapter. Of all, but one.
But Seorl himself.
Alexus loosing his mind out of pain and grief had been blocking the system for a long time until he comp every inch. Seorl wasn’t anywhere. Than Alexus took the bodies of the fallen warriors and went to Silentus. He found there an industrial mountainous planet inhabited with dark and uneducated people. After long deliberations, Alexus took direction into his own hands and started full filling of his commander. The world started turning from stinking hole into a prospers and eternally bright residence, were people were working according to the one wishes and with reinforced zeal. Soon Silentus organized stable trade connection with other worlds and Alexus was able to do his own business.
He spent a lot of weeks thinking of his action plan. After long time he appeared before his waiting warriors and addressed them with a speech finishing with words: “Emperor’s limitless wisdom created Primarches, Emperor’s heirs, created there own force and might. And today we, Sons of Seorl, give respects to our commander. Thus for the first time the name of the Chapter was sounded and up to now it’s glorified in reference books and historical notes.
Alexus left on the planet the garrison of soldiers trained by Space Marines, the Admirers, who continued to support on the planet the Chapter ideology and philosophy and continued to keep Sons of Seorl secrets. Just they recruited soldiers and sent them to the Alexus fleets by coordinates known only to them.
Seorl’s heir continued the deed of his commander completely, spending his forces to the end and trying all the possibility for searching his commander.
His commander Seorl, but not Corax.
The Chapter appeared here and there, constantly carrying death of His will and helping a great deal Emperor’s faithful.
Only one thing damaged the limitless ability of the Chapter warriors: very seldom they connect anybody and kept themselves away from other Imperium forces. Some inquisitors even declared the Chapter as being suspected in heresy, given as an argument disrespectful attitude to them but without plans to connect to so ancient and powerful force as Astartes, the Highest Lords put a blind eye to such appeals. Moreover Raven Guard took Sons of Seorl under one’s protection.
Sons of Seorl justify themselves completely by the fact that ancestors were proud of them. Nobody, except the Raven Guard itself undertook such verified and exact strikes and battles. Space Marines studied their enemy for a long time and then inflicted the strikes which were breaking any backbone in several hours, even the backbone of the mightiest force. The Chapter victories were limitless and it’s glory grew and grew. Similar to their legendary commander, Sons of Seorl modestly denied and diminished their achievements though there might and unshakable forces remain clear to everyone.

Great Search.
The Chapter continued to look for Seorl. More and more often Alexus, Chapter Magister, saw in his visions Seorl, who showed new and new ways for the search but never pinpointed anything specific. And each time Sons of Seorl found something new and continued to collect grain by grain the information about their favorite, remaining at the same time heroes in the eyes of Imperium servants.
After some time Alexus started been tired of such wearsome process of search. He pressed his analysts appealing to them and even threatening them. Having understood that there was little sense here Alexus astonished everybody quietly throwing the behests of the person who elevated him to the rank of saints and turned for help to warp. Successful experiment aloud him to look in the variants developments of future and he selected several emotional factors out this. That helped to Sons of Seorl a great deal but couldn’t be to the liking to the Inquisition. The Chapter was sent to the ten years crusade for the abuse of Primarch’s behests. Alexus understood that that correspond to the Chapter’s ways 100% and accepted the appeal with honor again, and is it seemed to the inquisitors, passing the challenge of faith.

Treachery.
As time past Alexus was becoming more and more hard determined in his actions. The Great Search couldn’t stop. Grief for commander lost was pressing the Magister’s heart as the same way as in the day of loss.
For the first time it became clear in several occasions then the Chapter ignored appeals for help. Late on the incidents were recorded when the fleet of the Astartes not wishing to slower their course had destroyed several cargo and even military ships of Imperium, which were in their course. Taking in to account Chapter’s merits the representatives of authorities were still keeping silences but later on a case of more importance came into the hands of the Inquisition.
Sons of Seorl stopped sending in Terra specimen of genasperm.
Absolutely all demands to clarify the situation were ignored, after that Sons of Seorl returned on Silentus unexpectedly. The Inquisition was unable to wait any longer. Inquisitor Josina was sent to Alexus to clarify the situation; she was accompanied by several squads of Adepta Sororitas from the Bloody Rose Chapter. Josina’s task was simply to clarify the reasons of the strong behavior of the Chapter but situation developed turned to be different.
The flagship of the inquisitor was destroyed together with all the crew as a result of skillful ambush a ranged by unknown persons. The formidable warship was completely annihilated with in an hour. Making analyses the leadership of the Inquisition sector underlined that attacking ships were similar to the outlines with the warships of Adeptus Astartes. The lessons taking from the previously years didn’t allow to Inquisition to doubt the treachery of the Chapter. Punitive forces of Imperium with two Companies of Grey Knights at the head were sent on Silentus. Fearing that the heresy penetrated in to all strata of the population the aim of the ships carrying virus shells was to destroy the whole planet.
The Imperium armies on the orbit were met by the fire of system of the Planetary Defense Forces and by the fore if military forces of Admirers. After a long and bloody battle the expedition was able to break throw covering force and to make the way into the highest layers of atmosphere where it was possible to start bombardment. And in this moment two new factors entered the battle – the battlefleet of the Raven Guard and Sons of Seorl forces.
The ships which had given Exterminatus the planet with billions of people were destroyed by the Sons of Seorl lighters and frigates so easily that punitive forces had to retread and regroup.
The fleets of ancestor-Chapter and heir-Chapter appeared on the battlefield having destroyed defense system as background. For some time the captain of Raven Guard’s flagship was talking with Alexus, who was commanding the flagship Sons of Seorl’ cruiser.
Lord-commander of the Inquisition who headed the punitive ships was looking for the silent effort of the enemies when suddenly the fleets opened fire and simultaneously attacked.
That was the triumph of a tactical genius and limitless chest of the genius of maneuvering. The fleets were waltzing in the dance of death which even the best tacticians of Imperium were unable to understand. When the battle ended at last the losses of both sides were minimal but each side understood that is worst wile to continue the battle or it was the time to retread.
Sons of Seorl took to flight keeping the distance between themselves and the sips of following them with a help of warning missiles. During that deathly race Sons of Seorl lost more ships that during the whole last period but they were still able to achieve to the point of transform to warp and disappear.
In spite of the Raven Guard some detachments of the Inquisition forces dashed into the chaise and after that nobody saw them.
Silentus with all its inhabitants as well as with all Admirers was completely destroyed. Raven Guard firmly refused to help the investigators inquest and they didn’t comment it in any way thus cowing an extra headache for them.
Sons of Seorl were anathematized by Imperium’s Ministorm but the priests were unable to think of nothing better then “Arch-diabolic treachery and blaspheme”.
The warriors of the Chapter-traitor were constantly spotted by the protection forces of one or other region, mainly close to Eye of Terror. From time to time they undertake devastating raids on the fleet of world of Imperium, Orks and even Tau.
Later the Inquisition researching the given incident came to the conclusion that not a single victory of the Sons of Seorl was not directed to the Imperium wellbeing. That was just a coincidence and they were moves only by fanatic wish to find their lost commander, whose behests they betrayed.
Never the less Sons of Seorl kept in full their lighting tactics without leaving anybody alive, sometimes, but not a single time were caught by the pict-picture by any of the viewing cameras. For that the Magister of the renegades was called “The Ghost”. And up to now Alexus the Ghost continues his looking forward of his lost father destroying and forgetting every thing his father was creating for so long.

The legend about Seorl's discoveries.
There are many fables and fairy tells about everything that Seorl told to the Raven Guard’s Magister about lost Corax. But historians and the Space Marines tend to believe that Seorl had found Corax entering into the Eye of Terror. There are rumors that Primarch explained Seorl his real aim and ordered to create semblance of looking for Primarch but in reality Seorl and his Company had to full feel the tasks given by Corax. There are a lot of historical proves such as the Raven’s medallion> - Emperor’s gift to Corax, which he kept constantly with him. Seorl found it during one of his raids to the Eye of Terror and given no explanation for that; thought usually he shared actively his achievements with all who asked.

Splash, удачи в оффициализации твоего ордена. Как узнаешь, куда его посылать, сообщи мне

Ну вроде всё.
И ещё ты забыл перевести про "Боевой Клич".
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gave birth to some other chapters...

по моему тhe там необязательно...

опечатка, не their, а them.

И далее и далее... В целом перевод весьма любительский... Если ты на полном серьезе хочешь это посылать в ГВ, то советую отдать свой фанфик на перевод профессионалу...

Добавлено (2008-04-20, 0:43:54)
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++++Громовые Воины++++
Родной мир:Темпест IV,Сегментум Пасификус
Основание:M33
Примарх:Рогал Дорн
Орден-прародитель:Имперские Кулаки
Магистр Ордена: Кай Моргус
Мастер Либрариума:Джеральд Лотар
Мастер Святости:Леонид Сандрос
++++История Ордена++++
Орден Громовых Воинов никогда не отличался особым поклонением ни Императору,ни Примарху.С точки зрения Громовых Воинов,Император был великим человеком,но не богом.Таким образом,особого одобрения со стороны Экклезиархии и некоторых более фанатичных Орденов они не заслужили.Тем паче что Громовые Воины уже 8 тысяч лет следуют своей собственной доктрине,не признавая Кодекс Астартес.Это послужило причиной того,что Громовые Воины всегда сражаются в одиночку.Почти с самого своего основания,они охраняли границы Империума на галактическом западе.Третья Рота Громовых Воинов,в частности,сражалась в Крестовом Походе Шаббат;в М39 Громовые Воины организовали поход против Орочьей империи Харадона.Больше половины всего Ордена отправилось в этот поход;но до трона самого Архи-Арсониста они так и не дошли.В том походе была почти полностью уничтожена 6ая Рота--она до сих пор не восстановилась от этих потерь.
Сейчас,в конце 41ого тысячелетия,Громовые Воины вернулись к обереганию границ Империума.В процессе этого 5ая Рота,возвращаясь с зачистки окраинного мира от культа генокрадов,наткнулась на планету,пораженную варпом.Рота,спустившись на планету,словно исчезла.Это было крайне болезненным ударом по Ордену,и без того ослабленному.

++++Родной мир++++
Темпест IV представляет собой горный и скалистый мир в Сегментуме Пасификус. Самый большой материк, который называется Тонитрус, являет собой маленькую копию мира – суровая местность, окаймлённая непроходимыми горами. Крепость ордена расположена в северной части материка, на пике, названном в честь первого магистра ордена Рацию Темпестуса – Рациум. Люди практически здесь не живут, север является домом космодесанта. Юг Темпеста IV куда более приветлив. Юг - это дом людей, где сгрудились все немногочисленные города этого мира. Самый большой и самый старый – Меридионалис, представляет собой монументальный памятник таланту зодчих, стоивших его. Город строился в суровых условиях, что в последствии сказалось на планировке – многие районы исписывают лабиринты из улочек и скверов.
++++Верования++++
Громовые Войны не отрицают наличия каких-либо высших сил, но Императора богом не считают. Подобные убеждения не добавили у них популярности в кругах Эклезиархии и у некоторых более фанатичных орденов. Особенно это касается ордена Чёрных Храмовников – других потомков Имперских Кулаков. Также с подозрением на Громовых Войнов поглядывают некоторые инквизиторы-монодоминанты Сегментума Пасификус. Но даже, несмотря на такое подозрительное отношение Громовые Войны ничем не подвергли свою репутацию сомнению.
++++Устройство++++
Устройство ордена вполне стандартное – 10 рот, каждая рота разделена на 10 взводов по 10 человек. По желанию сержанта взвод может быть разделён на два отряда.
Отсутствует рота терминаторов. Взводы терминаторов присутствуют в первой и пятой роте. В остальном всё обычно: один взвод штурмовиков, один взвод опустошителей, восемь тактических взводов. Десятая рота – скауты. Последних мало.
++++Набор новобранцев++++
Новобранцы набираются из Схолы Тандерхельм – университета для детей военных. Чтобы быть отобранным в космодесант новобранец должен быть достаточно молод и обладать определёнными талантами в военном деле – после отбора его подвергают строгим проверкам. Процент выживаемости после внедрения высок – около 55%.

++++Полк Имперской Гвардии++++
непрошедшие внедрение в ряду Ордена,но способные принести пользу, вступают в ряды Имперской Гвардии,из-за некоторой отдаленности от основных миров Империума полк вынужден снабжать себя всем сам,поэтому в него входят тактические отряды механикусов и спецназа именуемого "Мьолниры".так же полк имеет с своем оснащении уникальные модификации танка Леман Русс,на которых установлено энергетическое оружие.
Командует полком Комиссар-полковник Лат Кростов.из-за общего уровня подготовки можно сказать,что этот полк является одним из самых силных в данном сегменте Империума

Уже отправили? И если да, то пришёл ли ответ?

Кстати, я уже давненько подумываю над созданием Ордена Сынов Гагарина...